my first bull

this went down well in the whitehouse bar last night

My first bull


I remember the first time I ever saw a full grown bull,

He was huge I thought every muscle in his body was full,

And bulging with strength as he ambled in the field,

Chewing grass quietly knowing he had nothing to yield,

He knew his purpose you could tell by his brow,

In the field with him his wife every blessed cow,

He had the run of the place and looked truly great,

And why not with 50 or 60 cows all his to mate,

Nothing bothered him as he went from one cow to the next,

His sole purpose in life seemed to be just to have sex,

Right there in the field by the knocklasheen army camp,

He had no opposition here he was the champ,

That is until one cold wet miserable winter’s day,

When the army decided tactics was the order for the day,

A whole week of practice was planned with the troops,

And the bull watched ignoring soldiers jump through hoops,

The third evening some old soldiers were on guard duty at night,

And decided to give the young guys a bit of a fright,

Telling them stories of ghosts and weird goings on in this place,

There was frightened looks on the young soldiers face,

Be wary they said as you walk along any ditch,

For the rustle you hear could be the sound of a witch,

But don’t forget to call out halt, who goes there,

Stand tall hold your rifle and try not to look scared,

While the old bull lay sleeping not a care in the world,

If only he knew where he was about to be hurled,

Then at first light just before the dawn,

When young soldiers were tired and began to yawn,

The older guys chased the old bull up the field along the ditch,

Moaning and groaning he ambled making sounds like a witch,

Caring not for ghost stories or thinking of anything right now,

He was tired having had his fill of every blessed cow,

Behind the ditch was a young soldier frightened and scared,

Shouting halt who goes there you will not be spared,

Say who you are or say who you are not,

With no answer the tired old bull he was shot,

The farmer was compensated for the death of the poor bull,

But every cow in that field had a belly that was full,

And within a year or less maybe a half,

All 50 or 60 of those cows had a calf,

As for the young soldier forever more referred to as bull,

And 25 years a soldier never again his trigger would he pull.

28 Sep. 11