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Mr Sheehan,

Here it is yet another bloody year with you all,

We’ve had our ups and downs and sometimes we had a fall,

But I’m still standing here there is no one like me,

I put the y at the end of whitehouse poetry,

They call me Barney but you can call me sir,

And believe you me I can cause quite a stir,

I am not one to be messed with here at this mike,

If any of you disturb my poetry I’ll make you take a hike,

No noise there in the back if you please,

If the poet took time to write it, it should be read with ease,

This is a place for all poets to come and recite,

Or just read what they’ve written from pages they write,

I am stood here every week in my tuxedo you see,

My name is Barney and I am the whitehouse MC,

It’s an open mike each Wednesday in this pub,

476 consecutive nights this here is the hub,

Where you can come and take part or just listen if you choose,

Everyone is equal here there is nothing to lose,

We have candles and free food for you all to eat,

And everyone who reads will give you a treat,

Add your name to our list or just let me know,

I’ll call you to the mike and off you go,

We’ve been going now for almost 10 years,

A lot of smiles but never any tears,

We support all kinds of charities and so many events,

And we even got behind Michael D our president,

Tonight is my birthday and with you all I celebrate,

The time spent so far has been no less then great,

For 10 years I stand here and give it my all,

Without you, Barney there would be no whitehouse poetry at all,

Growing old is compulsory it comes to us all,

But there’s no rule that says we have to grow up at all,

As you stand here through all the laughter and fears,

Here’s to you sir and the next great 10 whitehouse years,

20/01/12
Man flu,


It’s come round again that time of year,

A time for men to cringe and hide in fear,

There’s nothing any man can say or do,

Coming home and saying he has man flu,

Get to bed she says if you think you can’t walk,

Beneath her breath, she can’t listen to him talk,

They’re all rather the same she says to her friend,

A bit of a cold and you would think it’s the end,

A tiny sniffle from any mans nose,

And they take to the bed without any clothes,

It’s looking for attention because they feel left out,

That’s what this man flu is really all about,

Attention I tell ye is all that they seek,

What about us we have the same every four week’s,

In the form of a period with the same stomach cramps,

Yet they lay in bed wanting to be treated like champs,

What about us women, who have to just carry on,

Hail rain or shine we don’t moan for too long,

On the school run we go and return in the car,

Man flu prevents men from travelling too far,

And feeding them in bed because they just cannot move,

This man flu has taken away all of their groove,

If a child awakes in the middle of the night,

Up we get for this is a woman’s plight,

But what does a man with flu think while in bed,

He doesn’t get ill often and wishes he was dead,

All the moaning and groaning that he now hears,

Comes from this woman and confirms all his fears,

It’s not that he wants all his duties to shirk,

He now wishes that he had just gone to work,

And avoided all the fuss and bother,

And as his fever rises he calls for his mother,

It’s tough for women to see their man get so ill,

Because he is now underfoot and there is no cure by pill,

Try think like a man who doesn’t get ill so often,

He tries not to complain and your words might just soften,

When all’s said and done he listens all year to you,

How very inconvenient to have a bout of man flu.

23.01.2012

oh miriam

wrote this after meeting miriam o callaghan in bulgaden castle in aid of the cliona ring foundation because i had to stand in for a friend who will never live it down oh miriam and i are the bestest of friends now hahahaha launch of poetic humour by limerick poets
Oh Miriam,,,,


Oh dear, he’s never going to live this one down,

From now on when he looks at me he’s going to frown,

He took his ould head to Dublin on a Saturday night,

An unavoidable trip with sorrow in sight,

But he called and asked me to stand in his place,

So that he could concentrate and not lose face,

Well it was to Dublin with him and to Bulgadan with me,

And as I sat in his place no beer drank by me,

Do not make a show of me in front of my friends,

Or you and me will fight there will be no making amends,

I’m warning you now his last word on the phone,

I just sat there laughing as on and on he droned,

Sure I wasn’t hearing what it is that he said,

I had a few lines forming inside my own head,

Miriam o Callaghan was to be the guest for the night,

She arrived looking beautiful and oh what a sight,

Her children were there both a daughter and son,

But everyone’s eyes were firmly fixed on their mom,

With the formalities over and presentation’s to be made,

Tom Tierney called me to meet this fine maid,

Here is a book of poetic humour, from limerick poets all,

On behalf of this charity we hope you to enthral,

Then she did no more then I had expected her to do,

She whispered in my ear, oh Christy thank you,

Your welcome I said as I stood there, all shiny and sleek,

Sure she couldn’t resist it she kissed my ould cheek,

I thought of a poem I wrote, of a mirror on my bedroom wall,

Get a hold of yourself woman for me you can’t fall,

For this gorgeous man you will never be able,

Besides my missus is sat right there at the table,

Control your emotions there is nothing you can do,

But if you’re really stuck I can recommend my pal john Carew,

Bu wait he aint here he was rushed out of town,

And you heard I was his stand in so you hurried on down,

Who in this life knows what the future will bring,

Families supporting poets, supporting the foundation for Cliona Ring.

After a good night in Bulgadan 16 Jan. 12

1st insurance lesson

First insurance lesson,


I learned very early in life how to claim from insurance’s,

I didn’t know it then but it was to be one of life’s assurances,

Having come out from school at Hassett’s cross,

Each boy jostling for position trying to be the boss,

There had been a crash and a car had been turned on its roof,

There was guards standing watching it all aloof,

As we passed it on our way home from school it was smashed,

Left there on its roof all mangled and crashed,

Passengers all taken to hospital sirens all blazing,

And us young boys stood there gawping it was amazing,

There weren’t many cars about back in that time,

Posh people owned them we had horses it suited us fine,

A few men had gathered and were discussing the event,

The talk was of insurance and the driver’s intent,

And how the car could be fixed and what it might cost,

Either way the driver in court would be lost,

He’d be better off one said if it was all burned to hell,

That way the insurance company could never blame or tell,

Who was to blame for this almighty disaster?

While the occupants were likely to end up in plaster,

In any case everyone felt sorry for this man,

And someone should do something to help if they can,

So late that evening as the guards went away,

With a box of matches to the car we did stray,

And lit the smashed car and blew it up in smoke,

We laughed as we ran to us it was no joke,

But scorched we got all in strange places,

A few of us had burn marks on our faces,

In the station we denied all thoughts of burning this car,

Saying there was a guard watching it sure he wasn’t too far,

It must have been waiting to spark and take light,

We got scorched and it gave us a huge fright,

It was lucky that guard was well out of its way,

Or we might all be going to his funeral this day,

And rather then charge 5 of us with burning this car,

They questioned the guard, who should have been near not far,

The owner came to knock on our door’s late one night,

His insurance paid out, I’m still not sure if we were wrong or right.

10 Dec. 11

Christy O'Donnell ,Humour in Poetry.: a good deed gone bad

Christy O'Donnell ,Humour in Poetry.: a good deed gone bad: A good deed gone bad. There used to be a little hiding place near our front door, It was used by all courting couples when times were p...

a good deed gone bad

A good deed gone bad.


There used to be a little hiding place near our front door,

It was used by all courting couples when times were poor,

When boys would walk their girlfriend’s home from the dance,

They’d hide in there both getting hot and taking the odd chance,

I heard many a row from parents when girls were found there,

Blamed for throwing themselves to wild abandon with no fear,

All the young kids knew where to go for goodnight kiss,

We would pass em out not knowing something was amiss.

A few times a year the odd girl went missing from our street,

She’s gone to help her auntie, who has been on a retreat,

This was all we ever heard as we were too young to realize,

The fact that they got pregnant right before passing eyes,

Always it seemed it had to be the boy who was to blame,

No matter what was said the boy was put to shame,

The girl was always taken advantage of poor thing,

And her parents would usually make him buy a wedding ring,

Never heard of a child being born out of wed lock,

Nor did I hear of rampant men running amok,

But there was the rare loose woman, who was talked about,

No one spoke her name they held tight lips on their mouth,

But this corner near our front door was a good place for nookie,

Even I knew that and I was as yet still a rookie,

So I sat and watched as the couples made out,

And if I saw one of the sisters I’d let go with a shout,

Then they started to pay me not to dampen their ardour,

To keep quiet so they could try to push things farther,

But there is always one who refuses to cough up,

And sent me packing calling me a cos and a pup,

So one night as she went in for her hug with her man,

I went up on the wall with a watering can,

I waited there for her and her man to arrive,

And when they were kissing I drowned both of em alive,

As he climbed the wall to give me merry hell,

Down the other side of the damn thing I fell,

My scream was heard in the house, by the father,

He came running to see why his daughter was in lather,

I drowned them I said from the far side of the wall,

Her virginity is intact it was me who had the fall.

Come out here he said I’m going to kill you stone dead,

Tonight was the night he was to ask her to get wed.

13/12/2011