A bone of contention
Being born into a large family is not what I’d call fun,
But I was and that life soon enough had me on the run,
For if you were just a few minutes late for a meal,
Then someone older or younger then you that food would steal,
Breakfast was always a race to the table,
Winter was porridge for those who were able,
Summer would be flakes of one kind or another,
And there was our referee of 13 kids our mother,
Now having been born into the middle of this fine clan,
It was eat or go hungry and for meal’s we all ran,
For dare you be late when the mother dished it from the pot,
We lied saying someone had got theirs when they’d not,
Just to get more on your dish which held dinner?
Some of the young ones went hungry they were only beginner’s,
I had an older sister, who would always need more,
She had elbows that would knock your ass on the floor,
I just had to come up with a plan slow her down,
So us younger ones stood a chance knock her smile into a frown,
It was the day of the offal in stew with some soup,
As we gathered at the table all 13 of this group,
When this older sister had cleaned her whole plate,
What I had planned was to forever seal her fate,
I took the bone she had cleaned and left empty of meat,
And placed it firmly in her slipper under her feet,
And as she knocked us small kids all out of her way,
When she leaned back in her triumph the pain made her sway,
She screamed in agony with all of her might,
And while they tended to her cut feet pondering her plight,
To the pot I went without waiting in line,
And filled my bowl to the brim my belly was doing fine,
What mother wanted to know was how the bone got in her shoe,
She hides them there mother to make a fool out of you,
She pushes us younger kids all away to one side,
But this time she forgot in her shoe the bones hide,
And as she tried to get more then was rightfully her share,
If the rest of us starved then she didn’t care,
She screamed at me then something that was unreal,
As I told her in my queue each of us had to heel,
Be mindful as you give those younger then you some stick,
Take your time when next you have a bone to pick.
12/02/12
Valentines me arse
So it was Valentines Day and I have a complaint,
Why do women not try show the slightest restraint?
You don’t see men dropping hints all over the place,
Looking for flowers and chocolates to shove in their face,
Nor do you see them in groups with gifts to compare,
They don’t ask for much from you all to be fair,
But dare he come home on this day not showing his devotion,
Displaying his undying love with true emotion,
He may as well call himself Christ and suffer the loss,
For his woman will nail his ass to the cross,
For this day has become one of fear and dread,
For all living men who wish to keep their head,
Because women need to know that men care,
And want to believe that their man is sincere,
But men cannot win or gain any ground,
No matter what a man does he will be wrong I have found,
If he buy’s her flowers on his way home from work,
He is up to something look at him smirk,
If he gives her chocolates after Sunday lunch,
She says all men are snakes the whole bloody bunch,
But what does a man get on Valentines Day,
After all the gifts for which he’s had to pay,
A smile if he’s lucky when he greets his fair maid,
And if she believes him he might even get laid,
When did it become a day for just women?
Why did we allow it from the very beginning?
I blame pope gelasius (496 ad) for naming this day
In 1969 pope Paul VI deleted it giving men their say,
But the real culprit is that Geoffrey Chaucer for our plight,
In the high middle ages he made this day his plight,
And made it a day of courtly love with gifts exchanged,
It’s a one way street for women now that’s Whats changed,
So here’s my complaint on this day of valentine,
Partners in love should show it to each other all of the time,
No man should have to go shop and for his love pay,
A few well chosen words saying I love you each day,
So let’s get rid of this day we call the feast of valentine,
We don’t need gifts to say I’m yours or your mine.
14/02/12
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