The first hire purchase
Saying times were tough when I grew up is an understatement,
There were no unruly kids or society for noise abatement,
Food was hard to keep in a house with no fridge,
No double glazing left a row of ice on the window ledge,
We were lucky there were 15 of us all huddled in 1 room,
For entertainment we had stories with impending gloom,
The fire was lit only after six o clock,
Until the rosary was over you wouldn’t hear anyone knock,
Then one day the mother said she had enough,
Trying to keep things fresh was getting just far too tough,
She wanted one of these new fangled things called a refrigerator,
When the father tried to argue he was called a family traitor,
I don’t care she said Mrs. o Neil has one with less money then us,
I want a fridge and you better cause no fuss,
At that time you had to have your husband’s permission,
To acquire anything on hire purchase it was his decision,
The ESB would give her one over the term of three years,
The father gave in but you could see he had fears,
So she ordered her appliance in the shop in town,
And with 3 years of payments the father just frowned,
I’m tied up with this fridge and the worry is sad,
I won’t be happy until its paid I’ll just won’t be glad,
And as each month went by and she gave him the fridge bill,
Eventually he just paid it he gave in to her will,
There even came a time when he said nothing at all,
About the fridge that stood proudly by the kitchen wall,
Sometimes when he was on his way home in a rush,
The older ones would gather the younger ones and say hush,
Your father is coming and he is drunk from the pub,
And your mother wants him to go to bed after his grub,
There was new stuff over the course of those 3 years,
I don’t know where it came from but it would end in tears,
But our fridge was bought and working since 1969,
Keeping all food fresh and it was working away just fine,
The mother would praise him for his allowing her to get,
This new invention that was like a family pet,
It never dawned on him to ask if the payments were done,
As the mother kept it looking like it arrived on day one,
The father would sit and marvel at this fridge saying it’s great,
He was still paying for it and by now it was 1978.
11.11.2011
No 1’s to blame
There were two people, for years living in my house,
Besides herself myself and the odd little mouse,
One is called simply I don’t know,
He hasn’t a brain in his head that could be on show,
The other one is called it wasn’t me,
I think they are brothers thank god there isn’t three,
They move about the house with free will,
Things were going well until I had my fill,
All seemed to go downhill when there was something amiss,
And I went to find them ands ask who? did this?
Who? I don’t know and it wasn’t me said you are right,
But if who thinks he’s moving in here there will be a fight,
Now I got myself into this and have all three,
I don’t know, who, and, it wasn’t me,
This little trio were now driving me mad,
In my little house I was sat there all sad,
I had to get myself a plan or a new name,
If I was going to help them move out just the same,
My plan was simple I was to take full charge,
And see no more of these three roaming at large,
So I stopped cooking and cleaning the place,
I could tell it was working by the look on their face,
I stopped buying food in the local shop,
And all three of them got in to a strop,
So as the four of us now sat round my kitchen table,
I asked them for rent to pay what they were able,
I don’t know said simply I just don’t know,
Well I said if you don’t know then I think it best if you go,
Who just said pay rent who, you mean me?
My answer the same if you don’t then who, you must flee,
It wasn’t me was moaning that it wasn’t his fault,
It may not be you I said but you must pay by default,
My new name is trouble and aim to cause it all day,
That is until all three of you go away,
The three of them left and all went in a huff,
Taking with them in bags all their own stuff,
Back came the missus and I greeted her smile,
I explained why the other three had all run a mile,
It wasn’t me, who, and I don’t know,
Just couldn’t handle trouble so they decided to go.
10.11.2011
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