new stuff

school and a lesson in eating the body of christ i think the nuns killed him hahaha

Our first taste


We were told to get a move on into this huge room,

What they forgot to tell us was it was full of doom,

Inside there was this tall wirey looking nun?

Hands clasped together twiddling her thumb’s,

Sit in those chairs she bellowed in a stern voice,

At 8 years of age we didn’t have much choice,

Now you lot are in my first communion class,

And so help me one way or another all of you will get a pass,

You are here to learn the rites of religion this year,

And if I can’t teach ye easy then I’ll do it with fear,

If you have to talk then raise your right hand,

Then wait till I ask you and things will go grand,

For all your past sins each of you will repent,

We couldn’t spell religion let alone know what it meant,

An hour into this class and someone had something to say,

They raised their hand as asked their arse reddened that day,

This set a precedent for things yet to be revealed,

For inside her habit there was a torture chamber concealed,

A leather strap, a thick ruler, a duster from the board,

And when she let fly she never missed she always scored,

Someone in the classroom ended up with a lump,

If you weren’t fast enough to return her missile you got a thump,

If by any chance you were late for her class in the morning,

First thing she did was without any warning,

Into the cupboard where she keyed and locked the old door,

You were in there for the day you were thought of no more,

No lunch or no playtime and if she found you inside asleep,

Both hands on her desk and with leather strap you would weep,

On a Friday to the church we would walk to see mass,

Each boy holding hands with a girl in his class,

And returned to our classroom all hurried and in haste,

Here was a dead martyr which we were about to have a taste,

With this thought in mind we were sent on our way,

With one belt from the strap each of us was told to go pray,

Hurry she would say and get on yare bended knee,

In fear of our lives each of us kids would flee,

Our very first lesson in religion beat into our head,

And all for to taste this poor man that was dead?

Friday’s at school were never much fun,

And Christ died only because he was taught by that nun.

17 Jan. 12


i wrote this for someone who hasnt a good word to say about poetry in limerick


Old two faces,


He sits in the corner and watches all come and go,

Listening intently as they shuffle too and fro,

Smiling and talking to all who will listen,

Taking it all in there is no word he is missing,

Sipping slowly from the glass that holds his drink,

He searches for his next victim someone to sink,

Always seeking an answer to some question or other,

His timing is good and he soon someone will smother,

He moans about the poetry of poet’s corner,

The standard is rubbish like little jack Horner,

It’s all our own fault he says but what can you do,

He’s tried to influence things but there’s nothing new,

He is talking about people, who think him a friend,

These relationships will soon come to an end,

He wrote about some drunken idiot killing his dog on the road,

Meanwhile he sits in the pub drinking his load,

And boasts about how after six pints he can still drive,

Well you only have to kill something once for it not to be alive,

Old two faces continues about how everything is doomed to fail,

It’s all going nowhere hinting at Foley’s on the nail

No one knows what they are doing with poetry in this town,

He doesn’t think much of cuisle and starts to frown,

He is an expert on everything literary new and old,

He comes across as all knowing and his word will be told,

As soon as the crowd starts to leave and there’s less too and fro,

He pounces on some unsuspecting newcomer and let’s go,

He once gave me advice and had I taken it at the time,

I would have never again written another single line,

And I would not be the first that he tried to dissuade,

Many won’t come back because of him they were dismayed,

Perhaps it is time he felt the need to refrain,

From giving bad advice to anyone ever again,

Maybe if we hung a sign round his neck just to show,

If you want to feel bad then to this man you should go,

Old two faces sits with his drink and has nothing good to say,

If he dislikes what he hears then from here he should stray,

Beware how he speaks to you of others in any place,

He does the same with them about you a disgrace,

I once thought him an age old family friend,

Thankfully now that relationship has come to a joyous end,

26 Apr. 12