its always a mans fault and a funny jack and jill story turned into a poem

Jack and Jill


Here’s a little story about jack and Jill,

For whom everything in life was always up hill,

They had no kids but a fair and comfortably life,

Jack went to work Jill stayed home the dutiful wife,

When things went awry as they sometimes tend to do,

Jill as always never knew just what she had to do,

In her life it seemed there was always a drama,

Nothing was easy it took ages to calm her,

Then she discovered that she was going through the change,

Oh for god’s sake this was for old people not her she felt strange,

As with everything Jill did she knew what was best,

Hormone replacement she would put that to the test,

Without reading the instructions which might do her no harm,

Instead of one hormone patch she put 2 on her arm,

While jack slipped out early to work the next day,

He gave her a call for he had something to say,

She berated him loudly over waking her with the phone,

Piss off jack she said go back to work and leave me alone,

Hormone replacement he thought who is she fooling,

And wiped his mouth as he was now drooling,

And his tummy was now beginning to give him pain,

Going home to hormone Henrietta for comfort was in vain,

Again he tried telling Jill that he just wasn’t well,

I’m suffering daily she shouted I’m in menopausal bloody hell,

And with a little ache you spent your day to me making calls,

Yes he replied and now I have a pain in my balls,

It’s to bed with me Jill said you will be ok in the morning,

Try being a woman she said as she went upstairs yawning,

To bed they both went with jack still complaining,

I’m for the doctors in the morning if this pain is not waning,

As she turned to advise him to now turn out the light,

She saw his bare ass and laughed with the fright,

Your aches and pains jack are no more then a farce,

For there’s one of my hormone patches stuck onto your arse,

He should have known better with Jill for a wife,

It was drama after crises throughout their whole life.

30.07.2012

Inspired From a tale by Donal O Siodhachain

Mans fault

Apparently all women’s problems start with men,

And foolishly I ask oh really since when,

For instance she says mental stress,

And to this I must wholeheartedly confess,

It takes me 20 minutes to get ready to go out,

And I do it and feel no need to shout,

And what about menstrual cramps then she moans,

As on and on about how painful they are she groans,

Yet if I have a cramp I go out for a walk,

I don’t feel the need to get on the phone for hours to talk,

And still there it is the dreaded menopause,

Sweating for no reason does not warrant a round of applause,

My answer to that is simple and plain,

Your man is on a pause it’s why he never complains,

For every ailment that is known to mankind,

It is named after some woman I think you will find,

Some of which are really quite scary,

Do I have to mention Typhoid Mary?

And a venereal disease called Saigon rose,

Not everything in the world is mans fault as it goes,

But if you sit long enough put men before any word,

Your questions will be answered this I have heard,

From time beginning men have tried to p-lease,

But you made us put our name in front of every disease,

And now you complain the men just don’t care,

It’s all about us and we are never there,

It’s our fault it rained on the wedding day,

Is there anything else you want to blame us for I say?

Take a look at the letters in your species before man,

And split them up into a sentence if you really can,

Woe man is what you will see before your eyes,

Here in front of you not up in the skies,

And it seems to be woe from when he is first born,

For women will berate him louder then a fog horn

So for every ailment that has men before its name,

Look at the 2 letters before men there’s who to blame,

So in future if you want to blame man kind for woes,

Remember where the first 2 letters of that word goes,